Ally the Doula - My Doula Story
- Ally the Doula
- Feb 16
- 9 min read
Welcome to the second episode of my new podcast! In this episode, I dive into why I became a doula. I hope you enjoy this episode. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.
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Ally the Doula - My Doula Story
Hey besties. Welcome back to Ally the doula, and thanks for hanging out with me again. Thank you so much for all of the love and encouragement on my first episode. I didn't realize I have so many hype people out there. It just makes me even so much more excited for what's to come for you guys and, what all we're gonna talk about on here.
Today, I wanted to share a little bit more about how I became a doula, because that is the number one question that I get asked. We are not gonna go into anything heavy. We're just gonna chat and have a little story time.
Before I became a doula, childbirth was definitely something that I was really curious about, but I really did not know nearly as much as I do now I was an athletic trainer for 10 plus years. I loved supporting families and knowing that they trusted me with their kids, the college athletes I was so obsessed with being a big support in these families lives.
So fast forward to when my son was born, my husband and I took a childbirth education class. We felt pretty educated. As much as you think you can be for your first. And when it was time to have my son, it was kind of an eyeopening experience. It was a very, I'll just say out of control experience because I was being pushed in different directions. Providers were pushing things on me. There were times that felt rushed. There were things that I didn't necessarily need that we did anyway because I, we, didn't know any better. Then after having my son, I started breastfeeding him and that was a whole whirlwind of its own because again, I didn't know much. I thought I knew enough but boy was I wrong. I was not prepared for dealing with bad latch and all of the hormone changes with it, and the isolating feeling that is breastfeeding, especially during COVID.
So with my childbirth experience with my son and then the breastfeeding rollercoaster that we went on, I really started educating myself and looking into things and quickly became fascinated with the birthing world very, very quickly. Um, my husband always said that all I talk about is babies, boobs, and vaginas and he was right. It is literally all I talked about because I was so fascinated with it and I still am
And that is when one of my best friends, Sarah, really introduced me to doula life and what a birth doula actually was and looked like and what we got to do. And I remember talking to my husband multiple, multiple times of how unreal it felt, and how I didn't understand how something could feel this right. Other than being married to him of course. And something just clicked. And I realized that birth wasn't just another thing I was interested in. It wasn't just a fascination that I had. It was something that deeply mattered to me and I needed to be more involved with, and I needed to have more in my life and show other people just what childbirth can be.
So I pretty quickly started my training and almost immediately before even starting my training, I remember signing up for it and just sitting there. And being so excited, and that was an excitement that I had not felt in a very long time. Like I would compare it to like, we just got engaged and we're getting married tomorrow. It was that level of excitement because something about it just felt very right. It felt like it was exactly what I should be doing. So I started my training, and again, all I was ever talking about was babies, boobs, and vaginas. But I had a reason to because I was becoming a doula, so my husband couldn't judge me anymore.
Throughout my training we did a lot of scenario practice and having to talk to different people who were in different stages of either pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding, whatever it might be and every single time I would do one of my scenarios, I was like, giddy, and it felt so exhilarating to be able to help people and talk to people in a way that I was truly passionate about. Just doing a scenario of how I would eventually do my prenatal sessions with clients is exactly when I knew this is it.
This right here, we're doing it.
When I had my son, I knew the basics of childbirth. What it may or may not look like. I knew that there's a lot that you can do to prepare, but at the end of the day, you'll never fully be prepared. It was very apparent that there's a lot, a lot that I did not know. I didn't know that birth could be magical. That birth could be a controlled space I didn't know that birth didn't have to be scary or up in the air. And through my training, it is something that made me realize how much I could help people and that I could support people and be there and educate people in a way that I was passionate about and that I knew how and in a way that would truly impact them.
Choosing to make this jump and become a doula and start my own business is something that I felt confident about. And also completely unsure at the same time, which again, is very on brand for this type of work.
A lot of people have ideas about what doulas do, so I want to talk about what it's actually like. The biggest misconception with doulas is that we are midwives. As a doula, I'm not a medical professional. I don't do cervical checks. I don't listen to baby's heart rate, nothing like that. I am here for emotional support, physical support, partner support (we will talk about my Birth partner bootcamp later) education, all of that kind of stuff. That is what I do. We educate, we support and we become your new bestie real quick.
A lot of people assume that doulas are there to kind of take over the room and advocate and, you know, fight with providers. But that is very much not what I personally do. I am there to support your decisions. I'm there to empower you. I'm there to make sure that your partner isn't going to pass out in the corner, and that they understand their role and how to do a solid hip squeeze. Something that I always say to my clients is that if you are going down a TikTok rabbit hole, if you have been scrolling on Instagram for hours and things feel out of control in regards to pregnancy and what to expect and what's real, what's not real.
That is where I come in. That is when you reach out to me and you ask for help. I will help you understand if things are real, if things are evidence-based, if things are just trending and not really what we're going for right now. And when it comes to supporting my clients in labor, it is a lot of calm and reassuring support. It's a lot of hands-on support, but it's also a lot of waiting and eating snacks. So if you check my birth bag, I always have snacks, and yes, there's always chocolate in there.
If you walk into a room while I am a doula for someone, you will either see me holding space in the corner of the room while my clients are just sitting there talking or relaxing. Or you will see me doing hip squeezes until I can't physically feel my arms.
Now, something that people don't usually realize about doulas is the emotional side of being a doula. When I'm at a birth, I am emotionally solid for my client. I am not gonna freak out or make my client freak out or have any kind of emotion that makes my client feel not secure and not safe where they are. And as doulas, if you're a doula listening to this and you don't have a therapist, why, um, you need one? I have one. I love mine. And this is why we have therapists just like. Every parent should have a therapist. Uh, every doula should also have a therapist.
The biggest thing that this work has taught me is that birth is an unreal and magical experience, and as much as you prepare for it, you don't realize what is about to happen. When it comes to birth itself, seeing what the body is able to do and made to do is almost something that you can't really comprehend unless you see it. And even if you see it, sometimes you still can't comprehend it. The fact that our bodies are made to literally push a human baby out of our vagina is just unreal. And I've seen so many births and every single time I'm amazed at how our body knows how to move in certain ways, and our body knows how to tell us to do certain things and how baby knows how to do certain things and rotate and flip and tuck their chin. All things that by themselves don't really do much.
But all together is what helps a baby be brought into this world.
I think the one thing that no amount of training or talking to people or reading about it can really prepare you for with being a doula is the feeling of a family, bringing you in, choosing you to be their doula and support them throughout. Pregnancy and childbirth and postpartum. It is truly one of the best feelings in the world.
Knowing that a family is choosing you to be there, essentially another part of their family. When you choose your doula, you are choosing someone to be there through some of the most important times of your life, one of the most intimate and personal moments of your life other than the moment that led you to this moment. And it's something that, like I said in my last episode, I'm a crier. I have no shame about that. Um, almost every single time I get a new client, I cry about it a little bit because I'm so excited and just so honored to be. That person in their life. When you find your doula, you find a new best friend, you find a new support, you find a new person who is going to be there for you no matter what. I'm not here to make decisions for you. I'm not here to judge. I'm not here to ask you questions of why you're doing things. I am here to hold space for you and to encourage you, and to uplift you and to help you feel your most powerful at this point in your life.
The thing that gets me every single time is when I'm laboring with a client and they look at me, and it is that instant look of you are what is holding me together right now. Because during birth we fall apart. If you have had a baby, if you have gone through childbirth, there are multiple times where you just fall apart.
And that's okay. And that's normal. And I, as your doula, am the person that holds you together a little bit. And having my clients just look at me and know that I am there and I can be that for them is magical. And sometimes that look comes from my client who is laboring, and sometimes it comes from the partner because I am a doula for both of y'all. And when the partner can trust me just as much as my laboring person can, then I have truly done my job and made the impact that I want to make.
That is something that I wish more people knew, that it's not just the laboring person who gets your support, it is also your partner. Because this whole childbirth thing, we're all in it together.
And that is really why I wanted to start this podcast because talking about all this makes me excited. It makes me wanna cry. I'm surprised I made it throughout this whole episode without crying. Um, this is only episode two, so don't worry. There will be tears in another episode,
I'm hoping that all of my listeners grow a love and appreciation for doula work as I do. And also for the life, the crazy amazing ever changing life that comes with it.
If you're listening to this and you're pregnant, thinking about birth or just curious, I hope this reminds you that you don't have to do this alone.
On the next episode, we are going to start diving into birth planning, birth stories, all that kind of stuff. So buckle up. It's gonna be fun.
As always, if you wanna keep the conversation going or just come and say hi, you can find me on Instagram @Allythedoula.
If you would like to come on my podcast and talk with me about your birth story, I would love to have you, so please find me on Instagram and send me a message.
Thanks for hanging out with me today. I'll talk to you soon and remember, you are doing much better than you think.
Come and join me on this amazing podcast journey!
You can find my podcast Ally the Doula anywhere you listen to your podcasts (Apple, Spotify, Amazon).
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